The EQ Difference

Just read an interesting book called the "The EQ Difference". I think the concepts and tips inside on how to socialise and manage personal emotions to boost performance is really terrific. Please try it after reading this post.

Many times we believe in order to achieve high performance, we have to set the correct goal, apply our skills, coupled with our life experiences, environment and personality. Thats probably why old people with more life experience are regarding by people as wise and the most capable.

In fact, there is a important factor called emotion that can override everything and make you betray the values you believe in the whole of your life. This emotion hijacking can change your views and perceptions of a certain matter, and can even cause you to confuse facts! Therefore, it is vitally important to have emotional intelligence. With EQ, you can not only prevent emotional hijakcings, but also make use of it as a effective partner to boost your performance greatly.

There are basically five areas of emotional intelligence - Self awareness, empathy, social expertness, personal influence and mastery of purpose and vision.

To gain emotional intelligence, we have to first start off with self-awareness. You have to identify your intentions and personality, as well as observe personal internal conflict situations you face everyday in your life. Scan what is happening around you too, and how humans behave and react to things happening. Only through this can you better understand human nature. Try to get the two sides of the story (the full picture) when you meet with things so emotions will not hijack you.

Find what you want, or else you don't know what to work towards. Before persuading others to follow you as leader, you have to convince yourself first and make sure that is what you want to work towards. Think of how to achieve that goal.

Always remember to question yourself. Listen to yourself talk, which are actions you do with extreme confidence? What things you feel unsure/uncertain of? Why are some people so confident and some so unsure? Only by learning from oneself and others, can you improve.

Once you understand yourself better, try putting yourself in other's shoes and understand what others are thinking. Try to find reasons for why people behave and act in certain ways, and how they are driven by their emotions. The best way to understand others is by listening.

Once you are able to fully understand how someone feels or thinks when he does something, try to develop relationships with others. Make an effort to keep in touch with people you meet to further develop that relationship, converse on a common topic both of you enjoy, and most importantly, identify which are friends worth making that can help you achieve your goal/vision. Seek quality friends, not quantity.

Happy emoing! :)